Dear Nick

Dear Nick -
You are asleep. Recently, I have been frustrated with your mood swings. I become tense and I don't know how to react. I forget so quickly what you have been through, and what you go through every single day. I read some stories from military wives whose husbands return from war and treat them horribly. I think about others still who lost their loved ones.

I am ashamed at how critical and impatient I can be with someone who returned from war to stroke my hair, kiss my forehead, and tell me every morning how beautiful I am; someone who saw and experienced things I cannot even imagine, but who dances with me foolishly and only winces if I experience pain. It is hard when I see you suffer, because I feel helpless, and I am helpless; but wherever your emotions take you, you always come back to me. You never disrespect me.

I know that I am a child in the main scheme of life. I know that I am ignorant, and that certain wisdom comes only with age. You have been in my life for two years now, and they have been the most transformative and joyful years of my life, regardless of the hardships we have already faced. All that I know for certain at this very moment is that I love and am loved by you, completely. You have set me free. I will be there, honey. I know it is hard; I don't know how hard, but I will be there. Your head aches, your back aches, your knees ache -- I will massage them and kiss them, whether it really helps or not. You have bad dreams, and if I wake up, I will hold you. You can be angry. You can be sad. You can be irritable, grumpy, numb -- whatever state you're in, it's okay. You deserve all of my patience, and I will give you nothing less, because you have given nothing less to me. 

I would love you if you were the ugliest man alive because of all of your attributes, but just to make things more unbelievable, you're gorgeous, and I get to look at your handsome face every day and know that YOU are with ME. And my love, I am with YOU.